The Love Left Behind
by PegasusBoots
Summary: After Nohr's defeat at the hands of Hoshido, Corrin has difficulty coping with those she lost. Birthright spoilers. Fem!Corrin/Takumi


The tavern in which Corrin sat practically crackled with energy, with loud cheers sporadically erupting from different corners and songs being sung in a language she still could not speak. She sat at the bar, tucked away in the corner. She held her drink loosely in one hand, propping up her chin with the other. With a sigh, Corrin swirled the brandy in her glass.

The war was over.

Garon had fallen and Hoshido had triumphed, but not without a terrible cost. Corrin shook her head, as if to shake loose the thoughts she had been trying to avoid all night.

 _His golden ringlets were pasted to his face, sweat beading his crowned brow. His breathing was rough and uneven as he lay propped against the wall, his blood gently pooling around him._

Grimacing, Corrin took a deep pull of her drink. It singed her throat and left a fire in her belly, but she didn't care. So long as she didn't see him again. Shifting on the barstool, she looked sidelong at the revelers' merriment. She recognized a few faces. Subaki whirled Hana around as they danced to a jaunty tune. Orochi held some poor blushing chap by the wrist, cackling at what fortune she must have read in his palm. A loud thump at an adjacent table signified that Rinkah had won yet another arm-wrestling match.

Corrin wanted to join them and be happy as they are, especially seeing as how she was their commander. But her raw grief and sorrow had furrowed themselves so deeply within her that any time she thought to do it, a crushing ball of guilt fell into the pit of her stomach. Her gaze again fell on her brandy. Corrin had craved peace, but was not sure she could pay the price this peace had cost.

 _His face was so pale, but his eyes remained bright as he looked directly into hers. Siegfried lay forgotten beside him, the blade having ceased glowing with its usual roiling black energy. The front of his armor was saturated with blood, though whether it was his or Elise's could not be known._

Fiercely gripping the glass, Corrin downed the rest of the brandy, glad to have the stinging in her throat outweigh the stinging in her eyes. She made a quick gesture to the bartender, and wordlessly watched him refill her glass. How many did this make it? 4? 5? Did it matter? It still wasn't enough. Her head felt heavy, but was that from the booze or her thoughts?

She was suddenly jolted forward from someone colliding with her from behind, her drink spilling. Irritated and soaking, Corrin swiveled to see the offender. She was greeted to the sight of a very drunk Hinata slurring what she assumed to be an apology. Before she could admonish him, Takumi appeared from behind him, slinging Hinata's arm over his shoulders.

"Okay, that's enough. You're done for the night," Takumi grunted, shifting Hinata's weight to him. He looked up at Corrin, a small grin on his face.

"Sorry about that, Sister. For all his talk, Hinata can't hold his liquor at all," he jibed. His smile disappeared the moment he got a good look at Corrin. She wasn't surprised, she supposed. Her hair was disheveled, having not cared to brush it earlier, and her tunic was now soaked with booze. She knew her eyes would still be red-rimmed from crying, and she hadn't slept in days. The only reason she had allowed herself to go out at all was in the hope of finding relief at the bottom of a glass. Gods know she had tried everything else.

"It's fine, Takumi. Will he be okay?" Corrin queried. She hoped her concern had sounded convincing. Though it shamed her, she didn't feel sorry for anyone but herself right now. Everyone always did tell her that she cared too little for her own feelings. Well, now she's feeling all of them, and desperately wishes she wasn't.

"Yeah. He's a big boy. But listen, Corrin, how are you? You look…" Takumi shrugged and broke their eye contact.

"Terrible?" Corrin spat before she could stop herself. Takumi flinched, looking chastened. Corrin bit her lip. She shouldn't take it out on her little brother.

Brother.

 _He held her hand in his, as he had done countless times before, as she kneeled before him where he lay. He coughed weakly, a small trickle of blood spilling from his chapped lips. He drew another ragged breath and closed his eyes._

Corrin gasped, forcing herself back. She looked at Takumi. His expression had changed. Worry etched his face, his brow knit with concern.

"I'm going to get Hinata somewhere safe. Don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be right back," Takumi said quickly, hefting Hinata towards the exit.

Corrin watched his back for a moment before turning back toward the bar. The bartender had cleaned the mess left by Hinata's little incursion, and another glass of brandy was waiting for her. She gave the busy barkeep a grateful look before taking a drink. She wasn't sober enough for this. Hell, she wasn't drunk enough for this. There was no way to prepare to feel the way she did now. And now Takumi wants to talk about it. Corrin sighed deeply, taking another sip. The brandy was beginning to not burn as much. Idly, Corrin wondered if that was a good or bad thing.

She considered leaving before Takumi could return. She could always sneak back to the now vacant Deeprealm and hide in what were once her private quarters. Honestly, anything sounded better than facing Takumi. She sighed. It was settled then. Downing the last of the brandy, Corrin tossed a few coins on the bar and began to make her way towards the door. She almost fell immediately upon standing. She must've been more inebriated than she had initially thought. Concentrating on each step, she carefully maneuvered through the crowd, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally arrived at the door.

The door swung open as she reached for the handle, and Corrin found herself on her rump.

"Ah, sorry!" Silver hair? Hazel eyes? Corrin groaned. It would be Takumi.

"Wait, Corrin? And where do you think you're going? I told you not to go anywhere," Takumi scolded, a look of hurt flickering over his face. Rolling his eyes, Takumi extended a hand, which Corrin took after a moment's hesitation. Pulling her to her unsteady feet, he watched as she stumbled with a small frown.

"Corrin, are you drunk?" Takumi asked, his voice leaden with disappointment.

Corrin's face burned with embarrassment. What was she doing? As if drinking ever solved anything. She had been so desperate to forget, nothing had been off the table. She sighed, not meeting his eyes.

"…Yes."

Takumi regarded her for a moment before pulling Corrin's arm over his shoulders and wrapping his around her waist as he had done for Hinata.

"I know a place where we can talk," he said tersely, walking them through the door. Corrin remained silent, though she wanted to yell and push Takumi away. They moved slowly through the empty city streets, illuminated only by the light of the full moon. A heavy silence hung over them as they walked. Corrin discreetly stole a glance at Takumi, and quickly regretted it. The set of his jaw, the way his eyes were narrowed; she could tell he was furious.

Corrin scowled. What the hell was he mad about? She was a grown woman. If she wanted to drink herself under the table, then she should be able to. She wrested her arm from his grip and pulled away from him. She didn't need this. Didn't need him. Her momentum carried her away for a few steps before she pitched forward and fell. Hard. She groaned and flattened her palms to the ground beneath her chest, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.

"Gods, Corrin, what has gotten into you? I've never seen you like this."

Corrin's eyes fluttered open at the tone of Takumi's voice. She expected anger. Disdain. What she didn't anticipate was the gentle timbre of his voice touched with care and worry. Turning her head, she looked at him, tears pricking the edge of her vision. Any lingering anger had disappeared from his face. His gaze was soft. Why did that hurt so much more?

 _After a moment, he opened his eyes. The light behind them was beginning to fade. A small smile played across his face as he looked upon her. Wincing from the effort, he brushed her cheek with the side of his hand._

Gingerly, Takumi scooped Corrin up by her middle. His hands were so, so gentle. She blinked back the tears. No. Not now. Supporting her again, Takumi steered them both towards an impressive looking tree. A small stream babbled beside it and Corrin lost herself for a moment looking at the tree's expansive foliage. Bracing her by her shoulders, Takumi helped Corrin sit at the base of the tree's trunk before seating himself beside her.

They sat together wordlessly, an expectant silence surrounding them. Corrin could feel Takumi's eyes on her, his hazel orbs urging her to speak. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to tear into a wound that hadn't even begun to close. She didn't want him close to her to see her vulnerability and her inevitable breakdown. Beside her, Takumi sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong, Sister. This isn't like you," he murmured.

No. This wasn't going to happen. He should have just left her alone. She needed to get him away.

"What do you care?" Corrin retorted. "I can't get drunk without your permission? Is that it?"

Her words felt like bile in her throat when she saw the way Takumi bristled, shooting her a pointed glare. He crossed his arms, huffing in indignation.

"You know damn well that's not what this is about, Corrin," he replied sharply. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know a lot has happened and-"

"You don't know a damn thing, Takumi!" Corrin cried, effectively silencing him. "Just go away and leave me alone," she continued quietly. Her lower lip began to tremble. No, no, no. She needed to hold it together until he left her.

" _Now it's time…"_

 _His voice, once proud and strong, was only an echo of what it once was. His arm fell limp to his side._

" _To say goodbye…"_

"I'm just trying to help, Corrin!" Takumi shouted, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "You really think I don't see what's going on? That I don't care?"

"Nobody asked you to help!" Corrin snapped. She couldn't stop herself.

"It doesn't fucking matter if you care or not, it doesn't change a damn thing! I killed my brother, Takumi!" she cried. There was no going back now.

"He practically raised me! He deserved better than to die by my weak hands," Corrin seethed. She looked down at her hands and could still see his blood staining them crimson. Shuddering at the sight, she turned her face skyward.

"He gave me nothing but love and acceptance, and I repaid him with betrayal and death," she continued, her voice heavy with bitterness and regret. Her heart pounded in her ears, any reprieve the alcohol had offered evaporating.

"I couldn't save him... My own brother... I loved him more than anything..." she whispered.

Corrin froze with the realization of what she had said. Or rather to whom. She had just admitted that despite all that they had gone through together in the war against Nohr, her Hoshidan siblings still didn't mean as much to her as he had. She looked at Takumi, frightened by what his response would be. His expression was impossible to read, his hazel eyes fixed on her.

Without warning, he pulled her into a powerful embrace. One arm wrapped around her back, the other cradling the back of her head as he held her tightly against him. Corrin gasped at the suddenness, at the proximity. He pressed his cheek against hers.

"Corrin… I'm so sorry."

" _Please…don't cry…"_

In that moment, something deep inside Corrin broke. A plaintive cry tore from her throat, and the tears she'd been fighting so hard against fell unbidden from her eyes. Clinging to Takumi's chest, she sobbed without abandon, her howls of anguish echoing around them like a discordant lullaby. Takumi gently stroked Corrin's hair, easing her down so that she laid with her face against his chest as he leaned against the tree. Corrin cried until she had no more tears left. Her head throbbed, her sides ached, and her heart hurt.

Takumi held her, soothingly rubbing circles in her back as she took a few shuddering breaths, the worst of it finally over. How long had she been crying? It didn't matter, she supposed. Shifting against Takumi's chest, she allowed herself some comfort in the steady rise and fall of each breath. He hadn't left. Corrin closed her eyes against him.

"Corrin," Takumi murmured.

His soft voice rumbled in her ear against his chest. Corrin stiffened under his touch.

"Hey… You okay?" His voice was hesitant, a far cry from his usual bold tenor. Corrin sniffed, her only response being to grip his shirt tightly. Takumi made a noise that could be a sigh or a laugh and pulled her closer to him. They didn't speak, but this silence was different. It didn't loom over them, rather, it was safe; an unspoken assurance that everything was alright, or at least would be. Takumi took a deep breath, his exhalation lightly tickling her scalp.

"I… I know I'm not Xander," he said softly.

Corrin flinched at the sound of his name. Had she not been so utterly spent, fresh tears may have pooled in her eyes. Takumi shifted beneath her, clearly uncomfortable, though Corrin couldn't see his face.

"I know that you're hurting, and that there's nothing I can do to fill the void he left behind," he continued, running a hand lightly through Corrin's hair. She grimaced, opening her eyes to stare at the ground beside them. She'd been selfish, not realizing how her actions had affected those close to her. She sighed deeply. Feeling his arms go slack from around her, Corrin looked up at him. Her watery crimson eyes met his warm honey ones. A soft blush dusted his cheeks as he gazed down at her.

"But… That doesn't mean I won't try," he murmured.

Her eyes widening, Corrin gaped at Takumi. Any words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. Had she truly been so blinded by grief? He gave her a small smile before gently pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"I'm gonna be here for you, Corrin. So don't even think of trying to push me away, understand?" he said fondly, pulling her back into his arms.

At this, tears did fill Corrin's vision.

"Takumi… Thank you."


End file.
